Off With My Profile!
by SoulHorse
Summary: Follow four friends as they travel through a world of weirdness. Crackfic. Read if you like randomness and non/canon couples.
1. Have You Read A 5-10 Fic Before?

**Hey demigods! It's SoulHorse! Long time, no see! And with me, I bring…RANDOM ONESHOTS! Yay!**

 **So, as the name implies, these are random oneshots based off of the profile gags on my profile. Actually, just the 'list the top 12 of your fave characters part.' Yeah. I probably might not do all of them, so yeah.**

 **I have nothing else to say to you guys (I'm not sorry for being away for so long[*cough *cough SCHOOL *cough *cough]) other than…VOTE ON MY POLL! So, disclaimer and story time!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own PJO. Or any stuff I mention. I only own my OC, Soul Horse(not my official OC).**

 **WARNING: CONTENT CONTAINS MAJOR OOCness AND A BISEXUAL (NOT GAY) NICO DI ANGELO**

 **Prompt: Have you read a five/ten fic before?**

3rd Person's POV

Soul Horse was sitting under a tree, busily reading away at her Delta laptop, which was basically a MacBook that wasn't an Apple product and was untraceable by monsters. Soul's dark, ever-changing eyes greedily scanned the website that was called Fanfiction, reading fanfics about the demigods themselves.

See, one of the scribes of Camp, Rick Riordan had gone out and wrote stories about Percy's adventures and the Prophecy of Seven and had gotten them published, resulting in the thousands of fanfics about Percy, Annabeth, and everyone else.

Suddenly, Soul stumbled upon a story that made her fall backwards and hit her head on the tree in shock. She clicked on it and read the story, her eyes widening at each word. Soul gasped as she read the ending and screamed loudly.

"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" she shrieked.

Some nearby campers, which included her it's-complicated-bisexual boyfriend, Nico di Angelo and fellow pranksters Connor and Travis Stoll ran over.

"Soul! What happened? Are you okay?" Nico gasped.

Soul's eyes rolled over, showing whites, before coming back to her usual dark eyes.

"Find Thalia and Piper! Quickly!" she gasped, before collapsing.

Travis and Connor shared a look with Nico, as if to say, _your girlfriend is nuts. And bolts._

"QUICKLY! What are you standing around for?!" Soul cried.

Travis, Connor, and Nico took off running, separating from each other to look for Thalia and Piper.

 _With the Stolls…_

Travis and Connor found Piper at the lake, chatting away with the naiads.

"So, like, we went out to this fabulous dinner and it was so cute and sweet! We kissed over dinner and when I got dropped off, things escalated…quickly! We started making out and we did the deed in my cabin! _With_ all of my cabin mates asleep! We could hardly contain ourselves! It was _so_ hot!"

Piper sighed dreamily and the naiads giggled and squealed with delight.

Travis and Connor shared another look: _girls these days._ Then they shrugged off Piper's gossip, figuring she was talking about a date she had with Jason Grace.

"Piper!" Travis called out.

The daughter of Aphrodite turned around and the twins caught their breath. Piper, as usual, looking _breathtaking._ Today, she was dressed in a pale yellow silk camisole, tight black leggings, and sandals. Her mahogany hair pooled around her shoulders and her kaleidoscopic eyes gleamed with giddiness.

"Hey boys!" Piper called out.

Behind her, the naiads giggled and called their greetings flirtatiously to the twins.

Travis and Connor sauntered over to the girls, winking simultaneously at the naiads before turning their attention to Piper.

"Piper-" Travis started.

"Soul-" Connor continued.

"Needs-"

"You-"

"To-"

"See-"

"Her-"

"Now." they finished together.

Piper frowned. "Why?"

Connor shrugged as Travis explained what had happened.

"Huh. Weird. I guess I'll go see what she wants then." Piper said.

To the naiads, she called out, "I'll see you guys later!"

The girls squealed and yelled their farewells before disappearing underwater.

 _With Nico…_

Nico frowned as he walked to Artemis's cabin. He was fortunate that Thalia and the Hunters were visiting. He didn't have to go through all the work of Iris-Messaging Thalia, shadow-traveling to her, picking her up, and shadow-traveling back. Nico wondered what had happened to Soul. She was weird and quirky, but she _never_ acted like this.

Nico approached the Hunters' cabin. He knocked three times warily, waiting for the door to open. It swung open and slammed against the cabin wall, revealing a girl with long, knee length, caramel hair and pale, spring green eyes.

"Um, I need to speak with your lieutenant Thalia Grace."

Nico tried to sound formal. He was always unsure of how to address the Hunters. Was he supposed to ask casually? Or formally?

The girl narrowed her eyes at him.

"Who are you, boy?" she demanded.

"Nico di Angelo. Thalia's cousin."

Her eyes searched his, before she called out, "Lieutenant Thalia! A _boy_ is here to see you!"

A familiar voice yelled out, "Gimme a sec!"

A minute later, Thalia Grace appeared at the doorway. She casually dismissed the girl before stepping out of the cabin and shutting the door.

"What's up di Angelo?" Thalia asked.

Nico answered, "Soul wants to see you."

The daughter of Zeus raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

He shrugged and told her the story.

Thalia frowned. "That sounds strange. But whatever."

 _Back to Soul…_

When Nico, Travis, and Connor arrived with Piper and Thalia, who were chatting with each other and accidentally bumping knuckles, Soul was curled up in a fetal position and rocking back and forth, mumbling to herself.

"Soul, are you okay?"

Nico had immediately knelt down next to her, his eyes full of concern.

"Gods, gods, gods, di Immortales." she mumbled to herself.

Nico grabbed Soul by her shoulders and shook her violently.

"SOUL!"

The young girl snapped out of her reverie, looking awake.

"Oh! Huh? Did you get them?" she asked.

The son of Hades blinked at her, caught off guard at her sudden change in personality.

"Uh…yeah. Are you okay?"

Soul grinned and either it was a trick of the light, or she had just _winked_ at him.

She pulled him closer so she could whisper in his ear, "Sometimes, we just need a wake up call from someone we love."

Nico felt the heat creep up his neck and into his face. _What?_ Soul pushed him away and fixed her dark gaze on Piper and Thalia, before shoving her Delta laptop at them.

"Here, read this."

The two girls exchanged looks, before taking the laptop and reading it together. Both Piper and Thalia's eyes grew larger and larger as they read. When they had handed the laptop back to Soul, they stared at each other.

"How did they find out?" Piper uttered, but unfortunately, the other four overheard.

"WHAT?!" Soul shrieked.

"HOW?!" Nico gasped.

"But Piper, you're dating Jas-oh."

Suddenly, it was all too clear for Travis and Connor. When they had eavesdropped on her conversation with the naiads, she wasn't talking about Jason. She had been talking about _Thalia._

"But…how? You can't date, Thalia." Travis stuttered. Connor was at a loss for words.

Thalia winked as she took Piper's hand. Piper blushed and shifted closer to Thalia. The latter pulled her hand away from Piper's and wrapped both around Piper's waist. The daughter of Aphrodite wrapped her arms around Thalia's neck.

Thalia explained, "Piper and Jason secretly broke up after Jason had an affair with Frank. Hazel also had confided to us that she had been cheating on Frank with Reyna. They, as in Frank and Hazel, are still dating, now that I think of it…"

"But that still doesn't explain how you can date people Thalia." Soul pointed out. Her eyes, along with the three other boys, were still wide with shock over the Thalia x Piper revelation.

"Artemis's law just said I couldn't date _men._ It never said anything about _women."_ she said, shrugging.

Piper cooed, "Good thing too. I had an _amazing_ time last night with you. I didn't know you were so skill with those-"

"OKAY!" Connor exclaimed. "Please keep those details to yourself!"

Piper giggled girlishly, gazing at Thalia with adoration.

"Will do." she murmured.

The two then locked lips and embraced each other passionately.

Soul nudged Nico.

"Let's get away before things get even more heated." she whispered.

"Good idea." he muttered back.

Soul and Nico headed back to the main pavilion, with Travis and Connor following them. Behind them however, the four unfortunately heard moans and groans coming from under the tree.

Soul muttered, "I'm never sitting there again."

Before they reached the pavilion, however, she stopped and made a face as she turned towards the place where Thalia and Piper were.

Travis elbowed her. "Ew! Are you spying Soul?"

The said girl swatted him away.

"I need to put a spell over them, so some poor camper won't stumble upon them." she deadpanned.

"Oh. Good idea." Connor said.

Soul muttered something and waved her hands. A ripple of magic started to surround the tree where the two girls were at.

"Okay! Let's go!" she said cheerfully.

 _At their arrival at the pavilion…_

Soul slapped her forehead. She had _completely_ forgotten.

Nico looked at her, concern coming into his eyes for the second time that day.

"Soul, what happened?"

Soul swore violently under her breath.

"Mind coming with me back down to the tree? I accidentally left my laptop there."

Oh crap.

 **And finished! That was…completely random…and weird…yeah…don't judge…Anyways, what'd you guys think? Like it? Hate it? Baffled? Oh well, too bad, so sad. There's more weirdness coming up and it has** ** _nothing_** **to do with this oneshot. Actually, none of the upcoming oneshots are related to each other. Just saying. So don't be surprised if I pair Piper with like…um…Frank and Thalia is back to being a Hunter. They did not break up! It just…never happened. Yeah.**

 **So, thanks for reading and VOTE ON THAT POLL ON MY PROFILE! There's a new story coming up that I have a GREAT idea for and I think I have a title in mind, but I wanna see how you guys decide. PLEASE VOTE. So, RRFF and I'll see you readers next time.**

 **~Yours in demigoddishness,**

 **SoulHorse~**


	2. Numbered List of Characters

**Oops! I totally forgot to add my top 12 character list so that each prompt will make more sense! My bad…hehe. Anyways, here's the list, so you guys won't get confused.**

 **List your top 12 favorite PJO characters in no particular order:**

 **Annabeth**

 **Percy**

 **Reyna**

 **Grover**

 **Thalia**

 **Coach Hedge**

 **Nico**

 **Hazel**

 **Frank**

 **Piper**

 **Leo**

 **Jason**

 **Yep. There's the list. Don't judge my choice of characters. The results were actually kinda weird…look for it on my profile if you want spoilers for my next chapter! RRFF and VOTE ON THAT POLL ON MY PROFILE!**

 **~Yours in demigoddishness,**

 **SoulHorse~**


	3. Hotness of 3

**Hey demigods! SoulHorse is back at Olympus! WHEEE! Anyways, I know this story doesn't get much love…so…I'M MAKING A NEW CHAPTER! Yayyy! This story is basically my attempt at a crack fic (as if the Random Series wasn't cracky enough already…). So yeah. There are no canon couples in this (probably). So, without further ado, I present to you my…DISCLAIMER! AND STOWWY TIME! Also, Soul and Nico are no longer dating. And this is before the events of ToA.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.**

3rd Person's POV

Once upon a day at Camp Half-Blood, a girl and three boys were playing tetherball. The girl? That was me. Her name was Soul Horse. The three boys? They were Nico di Angelo, Travis Stoll, and Connor Stoll. As of currently, she was whipping their butts in the game.

"C'mon!" Soul yelled. "You guys _suck!"_

"Hey!" Travis yelled back indignantly. "It's not our fault we're _guys!"_

"Yeah! It's technically our mom's fault!" Connor added.

The younger girl rolled her eyes. "Not your mom's fault! She only gives the 'x!' It's the dad's fault! He either gives an 'x' or 'y!'"

"Soul! We are not learning science on our summer vacation!" Travis yelled at the girl as he threw the tetherball.

Said girl caught the flying ball and threw it back at him.

"Does it look like I care?!" she demanded.

"Well, it's not like you care about anything!" Nico called to her.

Instead of throwing the ball so that it wrapped around the pole, she aimed at one of her best friend's head.

"Shut your mouth di Angelo!" she shrieked as Nico dodged.

"Gods, you're so violent," he grumbled.

Because Nico was effortlessly distracting her from the game, Travis finally won a game of tetherball.

"I DID IT!" the older Stoll brother exclaimed.

"Hey, Nico was distracting me, the jerk!" Soul complained as she made her way to the back of the line. Connor entered the court as Will came running up to the four.

"Hey guys!" Will hollered.

Nico's face split into a wide smile. "Will!"

Will stopped short and opened his arms as Nico ran into them.

"Awww!" Travis, Connor, and Soul cooed simultaneously. "You two are so cute!"

Both boys blushed.

"So, what brings you here Will?" Nico asked curiously.

The son of Apollo pouted. "Am I not allowed to hang out with my boyfriend when I want to?"

"You always come when I'm alone," Nico pointed out.

"But ever since Soul here came along, you haven't been alone in a while," Will said, glaring playfully at the younger girl.

Soul gave him the stink eye.

She had arrived at Camp Half Blood with her best friend Paige Jackson, Percy's cousin, last summer. She had been claimed as the daughter of Chaos, had a little war with some Primordials, and Camp, as usual, won. Paige had been claimed as the daughter of Poseidon, making her Percy's cousin/half-sister. Ever since, Soul had befriended the Stolls and Nico and joined the Stolls on their mission to prank the camp, often dragging Nico with them, along with Paige, who willingly came.

"Yep!" the daughter of Chaos said cheerfully. "You haven't had a dull moment in your life!"

"Yeah, that's because you, the Stolls, and Paige keep pranking me every day," Nico grumbled sourly.

"Hey! Gotta keep ya on your feet!" a new voice chimed. It was Paige.

"Hey guys!" Paige said. "Will, have you told them yet?"

The blonde grinned guiltily. "Nope. I was arguing with Soul."

"Mm. That happens a lot," the daughter of Poseidon said, waving his comment off. "Anyways, Will here was supposed to tell you guys that Camp Jupiter's coming next week for a month.

Soul lit up. "Sweet."

She exchanged a look with the Stolls.

"Oh no you don't," Nico grumbled.

Despite the fact Soul was fifteen and Nico was sixteen, she was nowhere close to being mature, along with the Stoll brothers, with Travis going to college next year and Connor being in his last year of high school. All three were totally immature and since Nico was their friend, he often acted as the 'parent' in their group, irritating them to no end.

"Aww! Can't I have a _little_ bit of fun?" the younger girl complained.

"Nope. You are not pranking anything or anyone. Got it?" Nico chastised.

Soul rolled her eyes, acting like a teenager. "Yes Grandpa," she drawled out.

Nico glared at her. "Don't call me that."

She shrugged. "No promises."

"Soul, wanna go gamble?" Paige asked, grinning. "I hear Sherman's starting a round of poker!"

The daughter of Chaos grinned impishly. "Let's go."

Nico sighed as Paige and Soul took off for the Ares cabin, followed by the Stoll brothers.

"Those four." Nico sighed, acting like an overprotective parent. "So immature."

Will slung an arm around the son of Hades. "Hey, at least we get some alone time."

Nico grinned at him. "Your cabin?"

"Oh yeah."

 _Time skip to when Romans arrive…_

"We get to see Rey Rey today!" Soul singsonged as she, Paige, the Stolls, Will, and Nico skipped towards the entrance. Well, Soul was skipping. The others were walking.

"I swear, she's worse than when a toddler's in the terrible twos," Nico whined under his breath to Will. "I mean, we have four _children_ to watch for when the Romans arrive!"

Will raised an eyebrow. "Children?"

Nico nodded vigorously. "I think Paige, Soul, and the Stolls are planning an epic prank on the Romans. We gotta watch out for that."

The son of Apollo sighed. "When did you become a parent?"

"Since I met a certain misfit," he deadpanned, his gaze flickering over to the unusually cheerful daughter of Chaos.

"Ah. Yeah, she keeps people on their feet," Will agreed.

"Campers! Be sure to welcome the Romans!" Chiron reminded as some pegasi swooped overhead.

"They're here!" Valentina Diaz, daughter of Aphrodite, squealed.

The pegasi landed and a white pegasus landed in front of them. Nico recognized the pegasus as Guido, one of Blackjack's friends. He had 'adopted' Reyna as his human. Reyna dismounted and patted Guido. Next to them, another dismounted from a dark brown pegasus. It was Frank. He too, dismounted.

"Welcome back Reyna, Frank. I trust your flight went well?" Chiron asked diplomatically.

Reyna nodded as Frank answered, "Yes, thank you Chiron. We ran into a few harpies, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle."

"Where are the rest of the Romans?" the centaur queried.

"Coming," Reyna said bluntly.

"Well, I'll leave the demigods to welcome you," Chiron decided with a smile.

He wheeled himself back to the Big House as the demigods started to swarm the two praetors.

"Reyna!" Nico yelled.

Reyna searched for the person who called her name. Her eyes met Nico's and she grinned and waved.

There was a faint nicker and a flash of dust. Everyone started coughing. As the dust cleared, a brown horse with a dark haired girl became visible. It was Arion with Hazel Levesque.

"Hey everyone!" Hazel called.

Nico fought his way through the crowd to say hi to Hazel, as she had befriended so many people at Camp.

"Hazel!" Nico yelled.

Hazel caught Nico's eye. "Nico!"

Nico found his way and embraced his half sister. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Stolls chatting with Frank and Paige and Soul chatting with Reyna.

 _Time Skip because I'm getting bored_

Soul, Paige, the Stolls, Will, and Nico were hanging out by the strawberry fields, picking strawberries when the Demeter kids weren't looking.

"Hey Rey!" Paige hollered as the female praetor approached.

As Reyna came closer, the entire group gawked. She was dressed in a striking, strapless, royal purple dress with black gladiator sandals. Her hair was clipped in a gold pin with ebony curls cascading down her back.

"Don't call me that Paige. And can I talk to you and Soul privately?" Reyna asked coolly.

"Ooh! Whatcha gossiping about?" Travis asked. "And, may I just add, you look absolutely gorgeous today."

The daughter of Bellona glared at the son of Hermes and then she pointedly ignored his comment.

"None of your business Stoll," she hissed. "C'mon you two."

And Reyna proceeded to drag Soul and Paige away, with the Stolls wolf whistling behind her back.

"So, what do you need?" Soul asked.

"I need an opinion," Reyna deadpanned.

"…"

Both girls remained speechless.

"An opinion on…" Paige raised an eyebrow.

"My dress," she admitted a bit bashfully.

Both girls' jaws dropped to the floor in astonishment. Soul sweatdropped.

"Your…dress…?" Soul gaped, astonished.

Reyna twirled idly. "Do I look hot enough for Leo? Like, how hot, on a scale from one to ten?"

Soul and Paige face palmed.

 **Yeah…I don't know what happened here…**

 **RRFF!**

 **Yours in demigoddishness,**

 **SoulHorse**


End file.
